Man o man it’s 4am and two minutes and if I could wish anything in the world right now it would be to lay all squished up on the floor with my 6 dogs. But that can’t happen for another few months because I live 500 miles away from them now. I miss ranch life. San Francisco is treating me well but there’s nothing like being surrounded by lovable beasts all day. I miss my horses and the way hallie would follow me around licking me while I bailed hay and shovelled horse shit. I miss the way I had to mentally prepare myself before walking inside because I knew I was going to be trampled by 12 paws whether I liked it or not. I miss collecting eggs in the morning and the adorably soft chicken clucks that would play like background melodies throughout the day. I miss the hellish thunderstorms and having to trudge out into the downpour and gale force winds with my mom to dig trenches in the mud around the chicken aviary. I miss watching the ravine fill up into a creek flowing straight through the property when the storm finally cleared. I miss the smell of hay. I miss the sound of horses sighing when they’re content with the world. I miss picking bags upon bags of fruit, giving it away to friends and neighbors, and squeezing a month’s worth of orange juice. I miss climbing plum trees for a snack. I miss the heat. I miss when horses sneeze on you and somehow being covered in boogers is okay because the sound was so cute. I miss resting my head on a horse’s butt. To be honest I just really miss horse butts. I miss chasing them around the pasture, slapping a rope on the ground and laughing as they galloped within inches of me down the hill. I miss the flowers in spring. I miss the fields. I miss driving the little tractor. I miss the sunsets. I miss my cats and my moms and my grandparents. I miss the sound of cowboy boots on wood flooring, and the silly rack of cowboy hats at the door. I even miss the extremely conservative but somehow endearing little town of Ramona. And I’ll always miss being a 20 minute drive from the mountain town of Julian, the pie capital of California.
Calling a place home is one of the most sacred privileges someone can have. I’m really happy that I have such a beautiful one.