A nineteen year old thought machine with voluntary insomnia, a need to travel, and a bad case of the "Rhyme-a-lots".
My organs glow in the dark.


Handmade collage.


Fig. 81. Lunar landscape. 1881. 
A hypocritical-by-nature, extremely unedited, surface level, and repetitive analysis of Loneliness
(Warning: this was meant to be like 4 sentences but I got rambly and I don’t feel like editing. So considering this some 1950’s beat poetry shit but without the aesthetic pleasure.)
Tonight I read an article (http://goo.gl/rHLXs0) that shook my concept of solitude to its core. It was about a man referred to as the “North Pond Hermit” who simply decided he wanted to live in a tent in the woods away from society for a while. He actually did this for three decades before being captured a couple years ago.
It got me thinking about the reasons so many of us hate solitude. So often, the inability to appreciate being alone is founded in the fear of becoming irrelevant, or dare I say it, faulted humans.
In an internet-age society where our interactions have become exponentially more frequent and more virtual, our identities are based on the type of social media presence we want to create for ourselves. The world on the internet is in perpetual motion. Everything is energetic, attention-grabbing, and quick to the point. We are blasted with facebook posts, news articles, viral videos, a trillion things to read on reddit or buzzfeed, and enough advertisements to print out and plaster the entire face of the moon with. Our brains are thrown into overload without us even recognizing the symptoms of screen addiction.
Removing ourselves from this type of in-your-face environment is like dumping your mind in ice water (nope, I refuse to throw in an ALS challenge pun). In reality, the strolling pace of our thoughts is almost alien compared to the speed of the virtual world. Unless we are hyped up on coffee, drugs, stress, a combination of the three, or purposefully engaging our brains quickly, we don’t actually think at the same speed as our social media environment. When you pull yourself from that world, learning to slow down is not only uncomfortable but incredibly difficult if you find yourself wondering about the many Facebook comments and cat videos you’re currently missing out on.
Whether we choose to consciously acknowledge it, the internet identities we craft for ourselves are only superficial shadows of our fuller selves. We decide how we want to be represented, and often times we choose to only share the most positive aspects of ourselves. Studies have shown we are more likely to announce our achievements on the internet than our failures, thus painting an incomplete and romanticized image of who we are. 
The moment we are placed in solitude, where the idealistic internet self melts away, we are forced to recognize the truths of our situations:
1. A lot of the time, we are very much alone in reality despite our technological interactions.
2. All of us do indeed experience failure, humiliation, boredom, and loneliness.
3. And we may miss a few important funny pictures of cats here and there. 
Having assimilated into a society crammed with consistent virtual interaction, we are quick to view “time alone” synonymously with “loneliness”. Losing a sense of self can be terrifying on a surface level, but reversing your thinking is paramount to understanding the fear behind it. The fact that solitude provides you with the opportunity to no longer be obligated to present an impressive facade for others is the epitome of liberation. Finding comfort in that is one of the hardest challenges we face, but in our culture, its a skill we need in order to possess a greater sense of happiness.
The sarcastic hermit dude put it perfectly, 
"Solitude did increase my perception. But here’s the tricky thing—when I applied my increased perception to myself, I lost my identity. With no audience, no one to perform for, I was just there. There was no need to define myself; I became irrelevant. The moon was the minute hand, the seasons the hour hand. I didn’t even have a name. I never felt lonely. To put it romantically: I was completely free.”
I could easily dive into a full blown explanation of “Why, according to Buddhist theory, losing a sense of self is super important to the development of the soul” etc. etc. etc. But since it’s 3 am, I should probably take into account the Hermit’s answer to the grand question of the Meaning of Life:
“Get enough sleep.”
With that, goodnight.

Print ad detail. 1951.


40 Day Dream | Edward Sharpe & THe Magnetic Zeros


La señorita Marimar, pronto en Macadán.

"True peace is not merely the absence of tension, it is the presence of justice."
Note to self:

Slipping from her eyesight, you compose yourself. Stretch the tendons in your shoulders, bear the weight of falling forces. Align your eyes with future promise, feel the sleep in your teeth, you’re spineless.
Be enamored with your empty hands, no more watered down love spills here.


Francesc Català Roca

Helter Skelter - Siouxsie and the Banshees


(Source: midnight-train-to-mars, via kraizeekatt)


Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961)